saturday chores . . .

another typical saturday working around the house. it's spring and i'm trying to get the backyard done in time to enjoy it all summer. still alot to do and i don't last as long as i used to. although, it may have something to do with me getting up a little after 4:00 this morning. i heard something then i couldn't go back to sleep. so . . . i read 4 days worth of newspapers and flipped through a magazine or two and read a chapter in the book, "searching for God knows what." now i need a nap. it's about 5:30 PM so probably too late for that. i'll hang in there until bed time. i gotta fly back to NJ tomorrow so the weekend is cut a little short. i hate that. oh well . . . i'll be done up there soon. goodnight.

30 years and counting

30 years. that's a long time for a lot of things. if a company has been in business for 30 years you assume it to be a sound, well run company. if someone has lived in the same house for 30 years, well, that too is really a long time, especially these days. if someone has worked for the same company for 30 years, they usually get some kind of plaque saying, "Thanks for all you hard work and stuff.", "now get back to work.""i suppose nobody really drives the same car for 30 years, but if they did, that would really be a long time. i doubt anyone wears clothes that they wore 30 years ago, although they probably came back into style at one point. that wasn't the problem. they just don't fit anymore.

so 30 years . . . yes that is a long time. yesterday, my sweetheart and i celebrated 30 years together. looking back, I see things that I would have done differently. i see where i missed opportunities to express my love in very special ways. i see times when i could have been more of a man and asserted some authority. i see times when gentleness and softness was required. i see times when listening and understanding was all that was needed. do overs don't happen. you live and learn. and what i am still learning is just how deeply i love this woman of mine. i'm learning how much she has impacted my very being. 30 years of marriage is a long time. but for me, it's not long enough. my love, my soulmate, my life partner and best friend. 30 years just isn't enough . . .

wonderful news!

when i got home friday afternoon and went to the mailbox, there was what looked to be a letter or something from lori. i opened it and it was a beautiful picture of john clay, lori and the babies.

but. . . there was also a message imprinted saying that their family of 4 would be no more and was soon to grow (or something like that). we're getting another baby!!! another monkus! another beautiful little face to kiss. another beautiful bottom to squeeze. another precious punkin' to rock to sleep!!! i can't wait. right now, it looks like early october for this package to arrive. that gives biggie plenty of time to write another song. i love you lala and john clay! thank you for bringing so much joy and happiness to my life . . .

what a week!

i can't believe it's friday afternoon already. i have been so busy, the week just flew by. i'm glad it did because i will be seeing my sweetheart in a few minutes, and later this evening i'll get to see my boy. it's a pretty momentous weekend. sunday is our 30th anniversary! the past 30 years have also gone by very quickly. i'll have more to say about that in a separate post. stay tuned . . .

monday blues

it's monday and it's a travel day. actually a travel night. i leave denver at 6:30 p.m. and arrive newark at 12:00 a.m. i haven't traveled this much in a while and it's been nice being at home. this reminds me of how it used to be, week after week. i certainly don't want to get to that level of travel again. the positive thing about this trip is that afterwards, i think i'll be home for a couple of weeks in a row! i'm glad jeremy is here now to be with paula. she hates being alone.

easter sunday

i watched the sunrise this morning over the lake. i pondered what the sunrise looked like on the morning that Jesus rose. i like to think that the sun knew what day it was and was ready to shine far brighter than ever before and that the clouds just took the day off. i'm very sure the birds sang a much sweeter song that morning. never before had a day begun this way. i believe all of creation was up early and preparing for the moment.

oh . . . and I really doubt anyone was hiding colored eggs. i wish we hadn't done that to easter. just like christmas, easter is becoming far more insignificant than it should be. the two most important events in human history to date and all we have done is over commercialize them to a point of non-recognition. no wonder those who don't ascribe to judeo-christian beliefs don't take us seriously. we have diminished the message.

where's my mom?

it's really sad. i don't know where mom went. one day she's like the mom i've always known, the next day it's as if she's another person. when we talk it's a little strange. i don't feel like she really knows what i'm saying but somehow she forms a response. i don't know how much longer she'll even know who i am. i don't even know that she fully comprehends who i am now. i hate this cruel disease! i love you mom. if by tomorrow you have forgotten me, i'll never forget you . . .

i know you're here . . .

i woke up this morning with an acute awareness of you and for some reason you seem especially close to me; as if I could almost reach out and touch you. i feel your breath; I know you’re here. i feel so safe and secure knowing that. stay with me today. stay with me tomorrow. stay with me until I see you.

it's friday . . .

it's friday and i'm going home. i always look forward to friday when i'm on the road. i wake up more energized and focused. the day seems to move quickly, which is much better than moving slowly. i'll be home soon.

missing you . . .

neither one of you can read yet, but that's ok. this is more for me than you anyway. i'm getting ready to go to sleep and just thinking about both of you. i wish i could see you right this minute! you both make me so proud. i love seeing you, hearing you, talking to you, tickling you, chasing you, running from you, hiding from you, finding you, kissing you, hugging you, holding you, watching you and on and on and on it goes.

sometimes i hate thinking about you growing up so far from me and I don't get to see it happen. each time i see you, you are both different. even if it's subtle, i still see it. i’ll get to be with you both in a few weeks and I can hardly wait. i’m going to call you tomorrow and maybe you can talk to me for a minute.

sleep well you precious babies . . .

on the road again . . .

i was really getting used to not having to travel much. i love being home in my beautiful home, sleeping in my beautiful bed with my beautiful wife. now, here i am at 10:20 PM EST, ready to go to sleep, wishing so badly that all of the aforementioned conditions were in tact. i enjoy being with people, i enjoy seeing different cities and eating in places i've never been but it would be so very much more enjoyable if the one i love, the one i want to spend all my time with was here with me.

i'll be going home day after tomorrow but will only get to be there Saturday and Sunday then off i go again. however, the good news is that i'll only be gone 3 days next week. :-) but it stinks because i have to turn around and leave again the following monday.

well . . . it's late, i'm tired and sleepy and i need to turn the lights out now. i'm waiting for my woman to call but she must be busy. i think i'll give her a call and see if i can catch her . . . ring . . . ring . . . ring . . .


hmmm . . . where is she at?

my feet

seems like my feet are getting better. the new insole arch supports make a huge difference. i'm so tired of my feet hurting and all i want to do is be able to stand, walk or run without pain. is that too much to ask for? i have a date coming up with my grandbabies to go to disney world and i can't be tooling around in a freakin' wheelchair like some old man.

it's snowing today

i just walked out of a meeting and looked outside to see that we have a nice spring snow shower going on here in Montvale, NJ. very pretty but not sticking to the ground. that's cool with me.

my first blog ever!

well . . . here I go. unchartered waters. my first blog. ugh!
I knew i'd eventually get around to this. i guess i really do have a lot to say about a lot of things.